Hate starts in the gut. Deep down there, where it stirs, and churns. And then it rises. Hate rises fast, and volcanically. Spreading through your veins. It erupts hot on the breath. Your eyes go wide with fire. You clench your teeth so fast, you think they’ll shatter. And you hold fists tightly, digging your nails in the palm of your hands, completely oblivious to the pain.
It’s so easy to hate. Especially in the spur of the moment, when you’re unjustly offended, and the entire focus of your anger is that one unreasonable act against you. And you’re not fit to even consider other possibilities. Everyone experiences that. The important and distinguishing factor between you and others is to identify these ‘hating’ feelings – because that’s half the battle won.
We’re quick to judge people. Quick to jump to conclusions. It makes perfect sense to. After all, they messed up. They screwed up. So they should be the ones to suffer, shouldn’t they? We swiftly shrug all responsibilities off our shoulders. It is just so easy to blame them.
I believe there are two kinds of hate – the sort that is thought-provoking. And then there’s this useless kind of hate. Which is based on completely absurd ideologies. A fitting specimen would be the kind of hate that Justin Bieber has been recently on the receiving end of. So many people ridiculing the teenager. He’s literally become a laughing stock in the internet society. Want to get more Facebook likes? Make a hate status on Justin Bieber. Yes, he’s messed up a lot in life. Yes, in my opinion, his music does suck, to the core. Yes, he used to sound slightly girlish when he was young (A problem a lot of men faced in their early pre-teen years). But is that deserving of lewd, vulgar jokes? I’ll let you decide. My opinion is that he got sucked into the cruel vortex of fame at quite a young age, and probably didn’t know how to effectively handle it. No, that’s definitely not an excuse for his arrogant and egocentric nature, but surely reason enough to give him a break. It is a ‘thing’ nowadays to speak strictly against Biebs. A cheap trick to gain a small amount of popularity. Kids are being forced to ridicule Justin Bieber. A statement in favour of Bieber means you like him, and hence are worthy of being called a ‘faggot’. To avoid bullying, we simply join hands with the crowds and declare our indefatigable hate against Bieber to the world. The question that begs to be asked here, is, why are we so desperate to merge into the herd of sheep and suppress our own thoughts instead of giving them a definite shape and form a unique opinion – our opinion? No doubt we are going to face problems while going against the crowd, but it’s definitely worth it.
The hate that accompanies a relationship break up is vey unexplainable. You tend to put your significant other on a pedestal, treating them with the utmost care you can possibly conjure. But it’s all gone, and probably, indefinitely replaced by loathe. All those qualities you found unacceptable but ignored so effortlessly, are now the very source of the dislike you claim to have for them. But in reality, you never stopped caring. Which is what is going to hurt the most. It takes time to get over it. But if its going to be so difficult, why not actually reconsider the decision to break up, unless it’s absolutely necessary, without a shadow of a doubt? It’s tough to overlook the fact that they’ve messed up. But if they genuinely look like they’re really sorry for what they’ve done, its a definite sign they care about you, probably more than you do about them. Hasty decisions will take us nowhere in life.
Ever got annoyed of that daft guy on the bus who’s uncivilly screaming into the phone without giving the slightest thought to the other passengers? Or the guy on the motorway frequently cutting lanes making it difficult for you to drive? Or maybe those people near your house making a racket at two in the morning disturbing your beauty sleep? Ugh, so selfish, so inconsiderate. You feel like just walking right up to them and slapping against their cheek until their face goes red. The satisfaction that this mere thought provides is sometimes enough to suppress the desire to actually admonish them. Sometimes.
There’s always that possibility that they’re just being pure dicks, but why not give them the benefit of the doubt? Why not, (as banal as it sounds) maybe, rise above them? Because look, here’s the thing – in most of the cases, the offender doesn’t have the faintest clue that you’re pissed off at them. They’re going to carry on with their lives, completely oblivious to the fact that you’re cursing them. So you’re at loss, aren’t you? Because you’re just going to continually think about how inconsiderate and unceremonious they were, and probably end up obsessing over it. All it’s going to do is stunt your ability to channel your thoughts and decrease your productivity.
And that’s why, I find it easier to think up of explanations for their irrational behaviour, however wild they may be, and just forget about it. Yes, I understand that it’s tough. It’s always an effort to put our judgements aside and look at someone or a situation with compassion and empathy, and be magnanimous, but we’re better people for trying – even if we don’t always succeed.
My father has always been telling me to develop this unbiased point of view. To consider all possible dimensions of a multifaceted situation. And putting yourself in the other person’s shoes. To help give some insight on the other person’s mentality. You know, more often than sometimes our hate and anger are based on shaky grounds. It also teaches us how to deal with such personalities. Because the world out there is full of them.
I invite you to think about what I’ve said. It’s a difficult task to suppress hate, but surely not impossible. And like I said, recognising the cause is half the battle won.